Yin Yoga with Matt

My Story

Yin Yoga with Matt got created when I was at the lowest in my life, and this is a story worth telling you. In 2019, I faced multiple personal challenges, and these challenges got me to start abusing alcohol. At first, it was very subtle, and eventually, my need for an escape increased to the point that I was consuming alcohol regularly. My relationship with my wife was also deteriorating, and the stress we were going through was pilling up. Ultimately, that led me to have trouble with the law one day, and it plunged me even more problems than I already had.

Facing Legal challenges and having my whole life turned upside down, on March 15th, 2019, my dad decided to commit suicide. That was the cherry on the Sunday for me, and I fell into a deep depression. Being pulled away from my current job, I was left home, alone with my dogs, rethinking about my life and having no energy or desire to do anything.

My wife was most often gone for many hours to sometimes days as a way to escape what I became and how seeing me like this was hard for her. This made it harder for me because I had no support network. My dad’s suicide shattered my family; my sister was living with us one week out of two because she was going through a separation, my wife was gone often, and my best friends lived far away and were not available.

I remember just trying to get out of bed, and getting the day going was a struggle. It took me a while to realize just how bad it had gotten. Any little stress would make me explode in tears or cause me to overreact strongly. One day we had a walk in the forest, my wife and me, with my sister’s kids and the dogs, and the kids were acting up. My wife asked for my help, and I remember I sat down by a tree and just looked up at the sun. All I wanted was to relax, and I turned off from anything around me at that moment. My wife was yelling at me, and I couldn’t care or react. I was in a moment of blankness, a complete absence of being physically present.

After feeling depressed for so many months, I eventually accepted that something was wrong with me. I saw a psychologist and a psychiatrist, and they wanted me to try new activities and get a routine going. I remember just how hard it was to go to the gym or do anything physical and how for the brief moment of joy I was getting from them, I would be right back to where I started afterward and back to being depressed. I tried new activities like rock climbing, bicycling, hiking, and anything else that could try to get me going physically and mentally. Nothing seemed to work. I eventually got into meditation, and being left alone at home for so many days, the silence the house was giving me was a perfect environment to meditate. One day something clicked, and I felt like I needed to get out of this depression quickly because I would lose my wife and everything I worked hard for.

I decided to take full responsibility for what I was going through, and that was eight months through depression. Eight months of not being there for anyone around me, yet not even there for myself… Eight months of feeling awfully bad, with suicidal thoughts from time to time and feeling hopeless. I remember something calling me to try yoga, as this seemed like a good activity for how I felt. At that point, I was also diagnosed with nervous depression and prescribed Wellbutrin XL.

One day I took my yoga mat, and alone in my living room with my two dogs, I opened YouTube and took a Yin Yoga class from Melissa West. It was on that mat that day that my whole world changed. It was the month of October 2019, and as I was holding position through stillness, I could feel the release, it was like everything slowed down around me, and stress and anxiety would dissipate. On that mat that day, only one thing mattered: the present moment and how great it was feeling mentally and physically for me.

Yin Yoga felt so good for me that I thought, what if I become a teacher and offer this practice to the world. If I could make the difference in only one person’s wellness and happiness, it would be worth it. It’s right there and then that my calling came to life. I knew I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives, and I wanted to make people discover what I found for myself through Yin Yoga.

As the days passed and my Yin Yoga practice became somehow of a ritual, I felt better and better quickly. I started feeling myself again, and my wife started to stay around me, and we would spend time together healing our relationship and the damages that were caused. My energy level was high, and I could do chores around the house and be happier on an ongoing basis. I signed up for a 200 hours Yin Yoga teacher’s course and started doing it. Life was getting better again, and I felt alive and energized.

As things were getting better for me, I completed my Yin Yoga teacher’s course and had a tough choice to make. Would I teach online, or would I teach at a studio? While I was debating this dilemma, in March 2020, the whole world changed. We were hit with the Covid-19 pandemic, and due to lockdowns imposed by the government, all yoga studios had to close. By default, the choice for me became very clear; I would teach online and start my own YouTube channel.

And then was the start of a beautiful adventure! As I created Yin Yoga with Matt, I remember I had only a small pool of subscribers, mainly family and friends. I would film classes almost every two days and put so much energy and effort into creating content. I remember my wife saying, why do you spend so much time doing all of this if you aren’t getting any income out of it and no one knows your channel. I remember replying because I want to make people feel better, and one day people will see me, and I will be able to influence people’s wellbeing and happiness through this Yin Yoga practice. It took a while to kick in but eventually, one day, my subscribers started to grow, and the lovely and kind messages started flowing my way. When I noticed that I was making a difference in people’s day, I was excited and told my wife; you see, baby, I am finally accomplishing what I always wanted to achieve through this.

This is how this beautiful life-changing Story happened and how Yin Yoga with Matt came to life. I have brought my wife on this journey with me, and she discovered a passion for Yin Yoga as well.

The Story of my daughter Millarose and how she is a miracle

In May 2020, after a few months of creating Yin Yoga with Matt on Youtube, my wife missed her period. Like we hadn’t been through a lot already, and we were going through the lockdowns of the government and an 8 pm curfew at night preventing us from leaving our homes, she became pregnant. As I was fully recovering from my depression, quit my meds entirely due to Yin Yoga, and got back to work, we confirmed that another life was on the way, one that would change our lives forever. The challenges that would come with this and the fear of the unknown made us rethink if we were ready for this. Our relationship was still fragile, and we were starting to make a recovery there and everything else.

After a year of my wife’s disappearing quite often from home due to my depression, I wasn’t sure it was my kid. When I was 20 years old, I got diagnosed with testicular cancer; to understand a bit more, they had to remove one testicle surgically. The doctor mentioned that I would have fertility issues. Ever since that day, I was never careful sexually with any of my exes, and none were taking contraception methods. After over 14 years of not getting anyone pregnant, I concluded that I was not fertile. After four years of going through the same scenario with my wife, you can understand why I didn’t think Millarose was mine. So one day, I prayed to my dad for a sign to keep her or not.

Two days passed, and no signs were given to me. On the third day, my mom called me and said, you won’t believe what happened at the house the past two days. I asked her: What happened? She then mentioned that the exterior lights, which hadn’t worked for the past years, were bright yellow. That was the sign I had been waiting for. And like it wasn’t enough, the doctor said that her due date would be the day that my dad committed suicide. So I told my wife we would be keeping her. She had an abortion appointment scheduled just in case, and we just never went. Throughout Covid, we went through this beautiful year of being pulled back at home from work due to the government mandate, we spent tons of time together to rebuild and cherish our relationship, and we saw Jodi’s belly grow. What a year it was, and what a beautiful time for us and good timing for a pandemic. We always have to see the bright side of any bad situation. 2019 and 2020 were two of the most challenging years and times in my life, yet it was the most transformative and life-changing years I could have gone through.

As a Yin Yoga teacher, my goal is to make you feel better wherever you are in the world right now, and if one of my classes can make a difference in your day and wellbeing, I will have succeeded in my mission. I created this website for us to have a community and a place to build upon this mission. It is also a great place to support what I am doing and participate in a like-minded community of people worldwide. My goal is to make you feel better physically, mentally, and spiritually. Yin Yoga with Matt is where you can safely let go of stress, worry, and anxiety and let me guide you on this beautiful journey that I am bringing you on.

Matt Dupuis
Certified Yin Yoga Teacher